Yes, I Believe In Spanking.

I guess my blog will be a reactionary blog, as well as my own ideas and thoughts.

I read a blog by someone today who wrote about the fact that the first time they spanked their child they felt revulsion and horror at the fact that they had succumbed to abusing their child.

Wow. Really. I have a different view.

Granted I am totally against needlessly hitting your child. Child abuse is wrong and all child abusers should be beaten within an inch of their life for harming one so defenseless and small. They are abusing a product of themselves, the bit of themselves that they are supposed to love beyond anything else. I don’t understand it, it sickens me to think about it and listen to stories and the news about it. I agree that child abuse is horrible and people should turn in parents that they believe are beating their children.

However, I must say that I do spank my kids bottoms. I know that they will appreciate the boundaries that they are being given now, later in life, when they learn that there are consequences to every action. The spankings are firm pats on the butt and only one or two. Time outs don’t work for them and I don’t want to scream my lungs out at them all the time. The spankings they receive are few and far between but still they are my children and I am allowed to parent them. It is my freedom. I have my husband to balance me out, when I get frustrated he takes over and vice versa. We work as a team to parent our kids and do the best we can and yes, that sometimes includes spankings.

I received far worse as a kid, I had to go pick the belt when I was a kid, I will never do that to my kids.

I Am A Working Mom But I Don’t Have To Like It

I was reading a post earlier today about being a working mom. The post discussed what classifies as a working mom, and I thought to myself, I’m a working mom, I should comment. I started to comment but my comment got really long so I decided to make a post out of it.

So finally, I attend to my own personal blog. Yippee, hurray!!

I am a working mom.

I work part time managing a restaurant and part time freelance writing from home. I used to work full time in the restaurant and would have quit entirely, but my family needs the health insurance. My three days a week still works out to be 30-40 hours and my gig at home is all hours, I’m tired. I work all the time and I am a full time mom. I don’t like to classify being a mom as a job because I chose to be a mom, I have to work.

I don’t want to be a working mom.

I always wanted to be a stay at home mom. I have never been ashamed of the fact that I have no real desire for a career. My mom was home for me when I was growing up and I want the same for my kids. I loved it, we would go to the store or help make dinner. We did chores and though they stunk at the time , they did instill pride in a job well done. My kids love it when I am home, and the more I am home the better behaved they are for me in public, it’s amazing really.

I want to be me.

Everyone else wants something “better” or more for me. Things that would be cool, if I was down to do them, but I’m not. Whit, my husband, wants me to open a bakery/candy/coffee type of shop to use my skills in the kitchen. I on the other hand want to learn how to decorate cakes because I want to know how. My boss wants me to become a GM because I am good at my job and he thinks I would be a great asset to the team. I like my part time gig because it’s just challenging enough to keep me interested and not bored. I’m a smart girl, I can do anything I set my mind to and have yet to reach my potential. I learn quickly and have excelled at any task I set my mind to. The issue though, is that I know myself too well. I know that after given the opportunity to either achieve the goal, meet the deadline or the novelty has worn off, I will get bored and I will want to be doing something else. I am very fickle.

I want to be home.

I want to be home to play with my boys. I want to be able to take them to the park or hiking when I want to  go. I want to teach them how to start a campfire and put up a tent. I want to teach them how to cook and bake. I want to eat dinner at the table together every night, I want to slip notes in their lunches telling them how much I love them, like my mom did for me. I want to be there to comfort them when they get sick and have to stay home from school. I want to be a mom.

I know what I have to do.

Don’t get me wrong, I do a lot of this stuff already. I know with the costs of everything nowadays it’s almost impossible to live in a single income family without some very real sacrifices. I think that I’m ready to make those sacrifices. I grew up that way, and though it was sometimes a bummer not to be able to go the all of the places my friends were going, it was okay because my family life was rich with experience.

What I want for me and my kids.

I want to be a mom unfettered by the demands on my time that two full time jobs has on me. I don’t want to be tired all the time. I want to be interested in the things I want to be interested in, and not aways trying to live up to the expectations of everyone else. I want to be the kind of mom that has the relationship with her boys that will help them grow into upstanding young men that have manners and are courteous to others. I want to be there for my boys as they grow into men and experience life and all of it’s pitfalls. I want to have a hand in making them strong and willing to help others. I want to give them the foundation that will support they will need and a soft place to land if ever they need it.